lovei got to be with the guy of my dreams.
be with, as in i was his and he was mine and we were eachothers
beautifulbeautiful
i could love that guy
the best parts were when we weren't that physically intimate
he would just squeeze me tight, like he never wanted to let go
he would push my hair out of my eyes, kiss me on the forehead
he'd hold my hand and play with my fingers
he'd tell me how he likes holding me close, how he it when i smile
(and i'd smile anytime we'd make eye contact)
i still have butterflies!
so this morning i woke up
and in my half-sleep a thought hit me
"i'm about to lose my virginity"
well, i didn't
idk if i'm happy to be able to say that or not
because, now, if i could have anyone
wanna guess who it is i'd want?
and as close as we got, physically
(and we did get pretty damn close)
he never once tried to pressure me into it
he didn't act like he cared, either way
he just wanted to kiss me and be with me
and he is a fantastic kisser
i don't think i've ever had so much outright fun kissing
i mean, i (almost) always enjoyed it before,
but he'd make me laugh out loud!
he's fun and sweet and sexy and amazing
and i think i'm doing exactly what jason warned me not to
as in falling for him
but you know what? so what.
i can fall for someone who lives across the country
at least i'm happy
i mean, i got the guy! the guy!
when he leaves, i'll probably be sad
but i'm a very out of sight, out of mine kind of person
i'll have the memory still
at least i'm almost positive jason was wrong
about the whole he was only looking for an easy lay
because we didn't, we were just, together
i'd give almost anything for him to stay, though.
it was the kind of together i've always wanted
wow. my heart is still racing.
but maybe it's better this way, though
i can't get hurt hurt
we both knew it'd be like this
it's not like we're attached
i'm so insanely glad he didn't pass up the chance though
highlight of my summer.
