lovei might as well write whatever i want now, no one's going to read it. i have a boyfriend, ronnie. we've been almost a couple for so long, its finally a relief to just be able to say, "yes, we're going out." instead of denying it and still seeing and hearing the skepticism. he's my best friend, we're always together, and he has a really nice family. i'm really happy about it.
just one thing, i hate it, but its still there. brandon moore. i've liked him since the first time i saw him, before school even started. i was the first one to even talk to him. i had almost all my classes with him, and was talking and almost friends with him- then i got a schedule change. down to only 3 classes with him. he then went and turned completely, fluorescent white popular. as in chasing after the airheads, falling for the girls that are so wrong for him in so many ways. everything he is now, i hate with a passion. just seeing him makes me mad. and yet, if he glances my way, or gets anywhere near making eye contact with me, i feel my face turn a burning shade of red. when he smiles, i smile. and i don't want to. i can't stand his smug, shallow, self-centered disposition. i hate him more than anything, and yet i can't ever seem to get him out of my mind, and i want to be wanted by him.
he's so good-looking its sickening and he's a wonderful musician and athlete. but i still hate him, probably because he's the very image of the one thing i want more than anything and can never have~ popularity. its shallow, i know, and yet i want that confidence, that natural attraction, the glow that so many people have and i will never be a part of. what else can i say?
